Frodo-like, perhaps?

Instead of trying to give you a play-by-play of the Kilimanjaro ascent, which would really just involve descriptions of walking slowly with tiny steps, I'm going to do it in concise heading form a-la-anesthesia style.

1) Challenging, but not as much as was the Cotopaxi ascent: (As I write this, I think, "I voluntarily paid large enough sums of money to subject myself to subzero temperatures and low-oxygen air just for...bragging rights???)

Reaching the summit of Kilimanjaro was thankfully a slow hike on gravel and stones as opposed to wading up a snow-covered glacier. It made the ascent easier but the thin air was still thin enough that I started to notice that I had to actually coach myself aloud on how to walk properly, that I was somewhat more light-headed and irrational than normal, and that the breathing muscles that I never noticed started to protest from the effort I demanded of them. This time around though, these sensations weren't surprises. I just accepted them like you would a grouchy elderly neighbor that visits at bad times. I had already experienced the shortness of breath, the biting and icy winds, and the frustration of losing your headlamp light already while on Cotopaxi. In fact, if these things weren't present I would have started to think that something was wrong with the whole experience of summit-bagging.

The eight-day Lemosho route was perfect since we only hiked a maximum of 6-7 hours on any given day and rested for the remainder of the time. This was a comfortable way to acclimatize and in fact I was lucky enough to have only a day of altitude headache. Actually I was lucky enough to not have any illnesses, altitude, musculoskeletal or gastrointestinal. I highly suggest sacrificing a small rabbit to the mountain gods before embarking on a similar expedition as it worked well for me.

2) Lots of people, especially Norwegians.

Kilimanjaro has become a very popular mountaineering route for many people and so on any given day, there are probably more than 1000 people camped out at various campsites on the wide flanks of the mountain. This was especially evident on summit night, when the final stretch from 4600m to 5896m looked like that scene from Lord of the Rings when the Elves decide to vacate their country. During short pauses, I looked up and saw the glow of hundreds of LED headlamps snaking up the slopes looking like strings of while Christmas lights. It was beautiful for about 15 seconds, after which all tendency to reflect and enjoy the scene was smooshed by the chills that set in from inactivity.

Among all these people, it was mildly eerie that the vast majority of people with whom I ended up having the chance to socialize were from Norway. Avi and I shared a bus with a group of 10 from Oslo and ended up camping close to them throughout the trek. At the first campsite, we camped next to five other Norwegians whose hoots and shrieks and cheering during card games made Superbowl parties sound lame. Then Avi ran into another group of seven Norwegians that were on the same airport transfer bus that he took, one of which can brag about having had a doobie on top of Kilimanjaro. Then after perusing the campsite registers, I noticed at least 20 more had passed through in the last three days. That begs the question: in a country of 4.5 million people, who's doing the work in Norway if most of them are hiking Kilimanjaro???

3) "Duuust in the wiiiind/All we are is dust in the wind" - Kansas

I have never been so dusty in my life. I could have had a dust-cloud competition with Pig Pen by Day 3 of the trek. While it was mildly annoying to my OCD personality component that my hands were dirty AGAIN within five seconds of washing them in water, I would much rather wallow in dust than in mud. On similarly positive notes, the dust made washing very satisifying, as you could wipe away that dust from your skin like those women did on those Lysol commercials from the 90s. It also made blowing your nose quite the interesting experience.

4) 4-star Camping Experience.

Despite all the complaining, the trek was definitely organized to maximize the comfort factor as much as they could. First, we had porters to carry our gear, a kitchen tent, a mess tent, and fresh (read: Heavy) foods such as eggs, tomatoes, oranges, avocadoes, meat, etc. It's hard not to be in awe of the physical strength and endurance of the Kili porters who came up with us. You really can't complain about being tired when people carrying 6 foot wide loads weighing at least 20 kg on their heads run by you on the hill whether or not the slope is going up or down. These guys generate a breeze as they come by so you have to get out of their way. I can see how momentum might play a part in helping the porters get from one place to another.

The only major difficulty marring the 4-star experience were the outhouses. Let's just say that going to the bathroom became a precision art. There were new outhouses constructed for the tourists just to lessen the stress, but even these were not really any different from the "Porters Only" outhouses. If anything, the ones reserved for the porters were probably less disturbing since those guys have a had a few more years of target practice in the loo.

5) I DID IT!!!!! I climbed Kilimanjaro!!!!

At the end of the day, I don't regret a single moment of it, especially when I reached the summit at the exact moment that a sliver of red sun burst over the horizon. Although my sides, throat and stomach were burning from breathing hard, I had to let out a huge long yell of relief and pride after pushing myself to the limit. Of course, my limits were REALLY tested during the descent, which consisted of 4.5 more hours of hiking downhill...

Low battery, will return soon...